Nothing Without You Part 13

Fili had been lost in his own thoughts, mind wandering through memories, and day dreams and hopes, when he had was restored to his senses by a low, soft groan. His eyes came into focus as he was suddenly aware of the world again. At first he thought the noise had been nothing but the breeze, or murmurs from the other dwarves. He stretched his back and rubbed the back of his neck. The groan come again. Kili was stirring beside him. Fili’s heart let out a leap, this was the first time his brother had made any movements in over a day – since Oin removed the tooth the previous night. The sun had rose, set and rose again in that time and was now almost at its highest. Fili leant forward as Kili dragged in a deep breath as through resurfacing from being under water and his eyes opened.
“Kili? Brother?” Kili didn’t look at him at first, just stared straight up towards the blue sky, chest rising and falling in quick bursts. His mouth hung open slightly and his brows were knitted together as though he had just seen an unspeakable terror. “Kili?” Then Kili turned his head and his expression softened to relief.
“You are … still here.” He croaked, his throat sounded dry. “You are still … beside me.”
“Of course I am. I promised I would stay, didn’t I?” Suddenly all feelings of dread and sadness were washed from Fili’s consciousness and hope, happiness and peace alleviated and replaced them. His tense muscles relaxed and the weight he had felt upon him was lifted. He could no nothing to prevent the huge grin that suddenly spread across his face and the laugh that suddenly escaped him.
“Why are you … laughing?”
“Because I am happy, brother. So happy!” He wanted nothing more than to pull his little brother into a tight hug, to embrace him like he hadn’t before. But Kili’s wounds were far from healed so instead he rested his head upon his sibling’s and ran a hand through his hair. The action filled Kili with comfort and warmth, the sides of his mouth turned upwards in a small, tired but equally relieved smile.


Thorin heard a sound, a sound that he hadn’t heard since before the warg attack. It was joyful and hopeful. It was laughter – something that hadn’t ran out across the camp in days. At first he thought that perhaps the camp was in such need of happiness that he’d imagined it, heard it in his head as a way to cheer himself up. But when it came again, loud and definite, he knew the laughter was real and he immediately knew which of his company it belonged to. It was Fili’s laugh, full of glee. Thorin’s head turned to look at his nephew who was leaned close over his brother, there was the unmistakable glint of a smile. Before he knew it he had risen to his feet and was walking with much speed towards his kin. Fili sat up upon his approach and looked at him with pure joy. And he saw why.
“He is awake, uncle!”
“Kili, how good it is to see your eyes open at last.” He knelt beside the youngest dwarf and smiled. He took Kili hand in his own. “The others will be so relieved. How are you feeling?”
“I am aching and my arm hurts.” Kili tried to lift his left arm and hissed in pain.
“It is broken.” Fili informed him. “Oin has set it but it will take a little while for it to heal completely. Try to keep it still.” Kili nodded and lowered it gently back to the ground. The floor was uncomfortable, and his back was sore from where he had been laying.
“I want to sit up.” He mumbled pushing himself up on his right elbow that shook weakly from his weight. Fili was at first going to oppose, to suggest that he stayed as he was, but his brother had been laying on his back for a long time. Instead he bit back his words and placed a hand between his shoulder blades while Thorin reached for a soft, full bag for him to lean on.
“Is that better?” He asked, Kili nodded.
“You must be hungry, thirsty at least?” Thorin asked.
“A little.”
“Then I shall go and see what there is to eat. I will be right back.” Then Thorin walked off, it was simple to see, even in his steps, that he was overjoyed to have his nephew back.


A soft, warm breeze whistled through the mountains and the forest. It pushed leaves across the ground and lifted the edges of the dwarf’s tunics. The brothers had fallen silent now and Kili noticed a glint of sorrow in Fili’s eyes that stared blankly out in front of him.
“Is everything alright?” Kili asked quietly. Fili looked at him from the corner of his eye and sighed.
“I just,” He paused, “don’t do that again. I couldn’t bear it.”
“Do what?”
“Scare me like that.”
“Scare you?” Kili scoffed, shaking his head. “Nothing scares you.”
“That isn’t true.” Fili sighed again and turned his head to look at his brother, his face hard and serious. “The thought, the very thought of losing you scares me more than I dare to say. As I sat here, at your side, seeing you so wounded, my mind was full of images of my life without you. I can’t lose you, little brother, you are too important to me.”
“Fee …” Kili rested his head on his brother’s shoulders and Fili in turn rested his chin atop of it, wrapping an arm around his sibling and pulling him closer. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to get those beasts away from you all. Even if that meant they got me. My life for the sake of thirteen others is a good risk to take.” Fili didn’t quite know what to say to that. It almost hurt his heart to hear and he felt his breath catch in his throat. Would Kili really have given up his life for them so easily? He smiled slightly, trying not to laugh out. Irresponsible that is what Thorin had called him. But what Kili said did not sound like the words of someone who is irresponsible. Fili ran his chin across the top of Kili’s head, feeling Kili snuggle into him like he used to when he was a child, waking from a nightmare and crawling into his brother’s bed for comfort. Kili had always thought that he needed Fili far more than Fili needed him. That, it seemed, was not the case. The brothers needed each other equally, to provided courage, comfort, hope and strength to one another. When one was wounded so, emotionally, was the other. They were stronger together than apart. In fights they were each other’s eyes and ears. Their senses doubled and quickened to make them a great force. Together they were strong. Apart they were lost.